No Surprises Here

Your Score: 5 - the Observer

Thanks for taking the test !

you chose BZ - your Enneagram type is FIVE (aka "The Thinker").

"I need to understand the world"

Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical,
and insightful.

How to Get Along with Me

• Be independent, not clingy.


• Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.


• I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.


• Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.


• Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.


• If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.


• don't come on like a bulldozer.


• Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.

What I Like About Being a FIVE

• standing back and viewing life objectively


• coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects


• my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure


• not being caught up in material possessions and status


• being calm in a crisis

What's Hard About Being a FIVE

• being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world


• feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all


• being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be


• watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally

FIVEs as Children Often

• spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on


• have a few special friends rather than many


• are very bright and curious and do well in school


• have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers


• watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information


• assume a poker face in order not to look afraid


• are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict


• feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected

FIVEs as Parents

• are often kind, perceptive, and devoted


• are sometimes authoritarian and demanding


• may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate


• may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy

Discover the 9 Types of People

Harper
SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

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You are not completely happy with the result?!

You chose BZ

Would you rather have chosen:

AZ (THREE)

CZ (ONE)

BX (NINE)

BY (FOUR)

Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

1. Here.

2. That answers that question (#3).

The families want the crosses -- let them have them. But don't let them continue claiming they're not religious symbols. Come on people.

3. Snuffleupagus is visible only to Big Bird; since 1985, all the characters can see him, as Big Bird’s old protestations that he was not hallucinating came to seem a little creepy, not to mention somewhat strained. [From here.]

I'd like to think that, if I hallucinated, I'd hallucinate something like Snuffleupagus (Is that really the correct spelling? I would've guessed Snuffalupagus.)

4. Um, actually, paleoanthropologists don't all agree that A. afarensis was a direct ancestor of homo sapiens. Nice try, though.

5. Toucans and penguins, living in harmony. Though I do like that they didn't make Adam a pale, blonde Aryan.

1. Who knows. It could come in handy some day.

2. I'm confused. Very confused.

Get a Cash Advance

Do I not use enough big words?

3. Sigh. I suppose it would be too much trouble to ask the victims' families what they would prefer?

However, the state and UHP troopers say they are memorials to brave public servants and not religious in nature.

I'm sorry, but a cross, in any context, is religious in nature. Which is fine, if the person it's memorializing would be okay with that.

4. This makes me sad. Very, very sad.

Ben Stein believes in Intelligent Design?? Oy.

5. My latest Monkees phase has led me here.

An interesting read, and it sounds like a hell of a lot of fun. But it's reminded me of a generation gap re: idealism that I keep running across. It's like the anti-60s. People my age are either pessimists or pragmatists of the highest order, and our parents are the dreamers. Strange.

1. True enough.

2. I've been on a Monkees kick recently (due to receiving this in the mail a couple weeks ago). I found a recent-ish Peter Tork interview with some amusing content.

On conventions:

It gives the fans a chance to meet the celebrities. Connect with the guy that used to be a bunch of coloured dots on your TV screen.

On the prospects of yet another reunion tour:

The Cream has reunited. Paul McCartney and the Rolling Stones are touring again. They are getting anything from 100 dollars to 500 dollars a ticket. I think the Monkees would be good value for at least ten to eleven dollars a ticket

On Stephen Stills being rejected at the Monkees auditions:

Oh yes, he was hard done by. He had to settle with Buffalo Springfield and Crosby, Stills & Nash. Stephen, if you are reading this interview then I am sorry

3. Holy crap!

Looks like most of the pets I've ever had.

Apparently if you overfeed a goldfish it messes up its swim bladder, forcing it to float on its side at the surface of the water in a disturbingly accurate impression of being dead (I learned this on QI). How many goldfish have lost their lives due to ignorance of this fact?

4. Oh dear lord. This is the last thing we need.

5. Not only can't the Phelps afford to pay the $10.9 million, but apparently they're all in debt. I guess that's what happens when you use credit cards to pay for frequent nation-wide travel. I mean, come on. Credit card debt? I know it happens, but it's not exactly rocket science to prevent it from happening. Though I suppose God told them it was okay to use money they don't have to do His work.

1. "If you can have 'The Passion of the Christ' on one hand, then you can have 'The Golden Compass' on the other." [From here.]

Uh. Comparing the two? I don't think there's much in the way of drawn out, bloody pornographic torture in the Pullman movie. I also think 'Compass' might also have a plot and not just an ideological agenda to bash people over the heads with.

Not that I'm really all that positive on 'Compass.' I heard the screenplay was shit.

2. While this is not a litmus test for sexual orientation, Witelson said this finding could prove to be one additional valuable piece of information for physicians and individuals who are trying to determine their sexual orientation. "Sometimes people aren't sure of their sexual orientation." [From here.]

This sounds a little dangerous. I don't think anatomy or physiology should be the be-all and end-all of someone's identity. If I were confused about my gender identification or sexual preference, I wouldn't want some glorified version of phrenology (okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but still...) telling me who I am. But this is purely speculative, so I suppose those who've experienced it first hand deserve the final say.

3. This is pretty disgusting. Parents don't always like/get along with their biological children. Yet they don't (usually) try to return them like defective merchandise. First of all, they can't. Second, it would be wrong to do so. You have a child (by whatever means), you automatically take on responsibility until they're of age.

4. Duh.

Though I'd like to see a study done by someone without a vested interest in the outcome....

5. This pretty much sums up my opinion as well.

1. Yay!

2. The mouse-over makes it worth it.

3. Possible alternative employment opportunity?

4. Remember O'Reilly's expose on Brown's SexPowerGod party? Someone finally realized that it, as well as many of his other segments, was just an excuse to talk about girls making out with each other.

5. I have no idea how school vouchers work in reality, but I actually don't agree with the church-state separationists on this one. If the vouchers work for religious schools as well as prep schools and whatever other private/alternative education options are around, I don't see the problem.

More Phelps case:

...all of the evidence indicates that [the plaintiff's] reputation, if anything, was enhanced by defendants' words. [From here.]

Say what??

Special Edition: Fun with Chick Tracts

If you're not familiar with the source material, take a gander here.

[Any and all smart-ass commentary is meant to be taken as exactly that (a.k.a. not seriously).]

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Let's begin with the classic tale Kidnapped.

Highlights:

Non-specific vilification of the Middle East.

Gory, nightmare-inducing illustration of the Crucifixion.

An adorably doe-eyed, sobbing child [not caused by the above, amazingly].

Implied sex-trafficking of children.

Broad stereotyping of non-churchgoers and/or rednecks.

Law enforcement officer pushing his own religion on citizens.

Quotables:

Adorable Kidnapped Aryan Girl: Lord Jesus, what shall I do?
Jesus: YELL AT HIM!
Adorable Kidnapped Aryan Girl: OK!

Black Role Model Cop: We have an awesome God.

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Bad Bob!

Highlights:

Indirect advocacy for corporal punishment of children.

Indirect disparagement of creativity and independent thinking.

Law enforcement officer pushing his religion on citizens.

Quotables:

Non-Descript Woman: Bad Bob is crude, rude, and socially unacceptable, but we just love him.
Your High-School's Middle-Aged Librarian: Bob's the best connection we've ever had. He can get us acid, smack, dust, coke, speed and black beauties. It's too bad he's such a sleaze.

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The Beast

Highlights:

Equating the Pope with "The Beast" and/or "Satan's masterpiece."

Implied connection between Hitler and the Pope/the Holocaust and Catholicism.

A clean-cut, burly man in a wife-beater[?].

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Party Girl

Highlights:

Vilification of Rock and Roll music.

A Little Old Lady administering a can of Godly whoop-ass.

A rare depiction of Satan in his day-job as a bartender.

Quotables:

Pointy-Toothed Demon: Your warehouses are PACKED with low-grade condoms.

Sexually Promiscuous Party Girl: I want to do it right now, Grandma. [I admit, this is taken out of context.]

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The Death Cookie

Highlights:

The title.

Blatant vilification of Catholicism/Catholics.

An inexplicable cameo by the Cheshire Cat.

Repeated reference to communion wafers as "cookies" (and once as "the Jesus cookie").

Equating communion wafers with sun worship.

Quotables:

Satan: [...] you must also be very mysterious and different. Speak things that no one understands and burn a lot of candles.

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Doom Town

Vilification of civil rights advocates [The author/s apparently rely on urban legends for their fact-finding.].

Gratuitous appearance of stereotypical Leather-Daddy-type.

Badly-executed cross-dressing.

Implied pedophilia [perpetrated by what could quite possibly be a shirtless Hagrid].

A demonstration of when offering up one's virgin daughters for gang-banging is a good idea.

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Free At Last!

Highlights:

Blatant attempt to appeal to a racial minority.

Vilification of Middle-Easterners, Asians, and a man who appears to be either a Jew or a high school chemistry teacher.

Illustrations of a naked yet genital-less Satan.

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Dark Dungeons


Highlights:

Vilification of nerds.

Equating Dungeons & Dragons with Satanism.

Melodramatic D&D-related teen suicide.

Quotables:

Ominous Disembodied Narrator: THE INTENSE OCCULT TRAINING THROUGH D&D PREPARED DEBBIE TO ACCEPT THE INVITATION TO ENTER A WITCHES' COVEN

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Soul Story

Highlights:

Blatant attempt to appeal to a racial minority.

Blaxploitation-inspired title illustration.

Gratuitous use of the phrase "jive turkey."

A hybrid pimp/matador costume.

Quotables:

Leroy Brown [seriously, that's his name]: You religious?
50's-Coiffed Girl: No, I'm a Christian!

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That Crazy Guy

Subtle use of character names.

Implied equating of possessing a sex-positive attitude with being an idiotic bitch.

Use of pseudoscience as scare-tactic.

Quotables:

Ms. Damien: V.D. is nothing anymore. You get a shot of penicillin and it's gone!

Ms. Damien: Did you pick up a dose of the clap? ... Ugh, I've got to spray that chair you sat on.

Grandfatherly Doctor: Researchers have found holes in surgical gloves big enough to allow 10 AIDS viruses to pass through them side by side. [It's easier for 10 AIDS viruses to pass through a surgical glove than for a rich man to get into heaven?]
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The Trial

Highlights:

Vilification of the ACLU.

Vilification of any religion other than the author's.

Quotables:

Bitchy Television Reporter: How DARE you speak for God?
Adorable Little Girl: It's real easy...Want some of my cookie?

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The True Path

Highlights:

Blatant attempt to appeal to a racial minority [a different one this time!].

Implication that Native American religions caused smallpox.

Gratuitous use of the stereotype of the alcoholic Native American.

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1. Oh dear. This could come in handy.

2. If only it really worked this way.

3. Warning: High density skepticism/pessimism ahead.

Atheism foolishly presumes that reason is, in principle, capable of figuring out all that there is.... [From here.]

I don't know about other atheists, but I certainly don't claim that we can or ever will know everything there is to know. I'm sure there are truths and realities out there that are beyond human comprehension. What I don't buy is that those unfathomable concepts would so closely resemble human interests and wishes. If there is some binding or creating force in the universe, what are the chances it resembles humans or anything known to humans, or that it even cares about us? And if there are indeed immortal souls, isn't it convenient that they retain full sentience and get to stick around for an afterlife that's (potentially) free of suffering? It seems like wishful thinking to me. I'm suspicious of explanations that are too convenient -- because human reason is limited and fallible.

4. Yet more reason to avoid enlisting in the military:

In a 2005 New York Times story on the growing numbers of evangelical and charismatic Christian chaplains in the armed forces, Chaplain Brig. Gen. Cecil Richardson said, "We will not proselytize, but we reserve the right to evangelize the unchurched." [From here.]

5. Holy crap. If anyone ever needs a gift idea for me, here's a good start.

1. Oh man. Washoe died before I made it out to Ellensburg for a visit.

2. By now everybody and their brother has heard about the Phelps case. But I enjoy this little detail:

Fred Phelps took the stand after Snyder, testifying that he had not considered whether children would see a sign carried by protesters with the words "Semper Fi Fags" and two stick figures that appeared to be engaged in sodomy, according to the Associated Press.

Now, I'm not sure what they mean by "had not considered whether," but it sounds to me like he was lying. He knows for a fact that children will see his signs -- they're usually the ones carrying them!

How this was relevant to the case at hand, though, I have no idea.

3. It's always nice to see a religious institution acting somewhat sanely and intelligently for a change.

4. If only this had been the case in the David Bowie version.