List of the Day

1. Why can't we all just get along [dead link]?

2. Via the Onion: Second-Graders Wow Audience With School Production Of Equus

Especially appropriate considering I'm currently involved in rehearsals for an elementary school drama production. Not Shaffer, though. Unfortunately.

3. What's the big fucking deal, bitch? It's about time high school boys enjoy total clothing rights (thank you, Mr. Izzard).

4. Someone's finally confirmed that female ejaculate is not urine. And yet they fail to explain what it is. Damn you, Cowper's gland, your secrets continue to elude us.

5. I ain't got no gun.

6. Anyone else think this article's tone is just a wee bit flip regarding the culture/beliefs described? Am I being an overly-sensitive cultural-relativist wannabe-anthropologist for objecting to it?

7. My Mommy grew up here!

Great Discoveries of the Century

In late 2005 A.D., a young woman from the American Middle West discovered an as-yet unknown form of equitation.

Turn Them Shits Up

1. Fun facts brough to you by this thing:

Koalas sleep for 22 hours a day, two hours more than Sarah!

Sarah is the oldest playable musical instrument in the world.

Sarah was banned from Finland because of not wearing pants!

Contrary to popular belief, Brown University is not successful at sobering up a drunk person, and in many cases it may actually increase the adverse effects of alcohol.

A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find Missouri.

Cats use their atheism to test whether a space is large enough for them to fit through.

Iceland will become gaseous if its temperature rises above -42°C.

Some hotels in Las Vegas have boobies floating in their swimming pools.

2. Sad. Though I suppose a school is a private institution and can discriminate as it sees fit.... Wait. Public school. And since when do schools require their bus drivers to be role models? I certainly wouldn't want to model myself after some of the wacko bus drivers I encountered as a kid.

The whole husband-vampire thing is a little weird, though, I have to admit.

3. Rock on, Iceland. Rock on.

Of course this won't work anywhere else in the world, given natural resources and population density. But good for them nonetheless.

4. Like shooting fish in a barrel, this. Still funny though.

Miscellaniuh

1. Attention, Morgan Spurlock. You've been outdone.

2. Lanny!

Miscellania

1. What does sign language really have to do with this story? Looks like a straightforward robbery to me.

2. Zany bilingual antics.

Miscellanea

1. The Indian buffet that Sean and I frequent most weekends experienced a disturbing accident last Sunday. Glad we weren't there at the time. Here's to hoping they're re-opened in time for Saturday brunch.

2. Pop linguistics at its best. Or worst. Probably both.

3. “The book is not readable because of the overuse of adverbs.”

Ten points if you can guess the book before looking at the link.

4. Mayer gets street cred. About time.

5. The loud one got his own radio show.

6. Amusement [dead link].

Nesmith a la Groening

Don't get me wrong, he was a damn attractive man in his time, but does anybody else think that Mike Nesmith is looking more and more like a Simpsons character as he ages? It's something about the upper lip, I think.

And as for that site's content, don't ask me. I'm inclined to call it a big fat mind-wank, but I haven't read through it. Probably won't get to doing so, honestly. If anyone manages to wade through it, hit me up with a recap.

Miscellany

1. Great idea. If you ever feel the need to screw with the minds of a few art historians, follow this guy's lead. You may even see your kitsch featured in an internationally touring exhibit.

2. I think lawmakers should be more concerned with why a fifth grader proposes a law like this than whether it should become law.

3. More stuff to read. Rock on.

4. Thank you, John Cage, for making classical music performance more boring than ever before.

5. Underwater prehistoric cave paintings. Flinstones-esque scuba equipment yet to be discovered.