My Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom is: Ron kills Hedwig the Owl by clever use of the Golden Snitch Get your Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom

I only pray this doesn't involve inserting the Snitch into one of the owl's orifices.

My Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom is: Hermione is turned into an ice cream cone by Harry in a scene written in the style of Samuel Beckett Get your Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom

Sounds bizarre enough for Beckett, I suppose.

My Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom is: Hermione gets addicted to crack after converting to Scientology Get your Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom