Just My Luck

1. You know how they say it always rains right after you wash your car? In my case I get fucking sideswiped on the highway. Right after I washed my car. It was clean. And shiny. And now it's scratched and dented. Dammit.

2. Overheard at the YMCA pool:

Teacher: When do we wear lifejackets?
Small Child: When we're sinking!!!